SHORT TAILSOne hot day my pig,
Lulu, apparently decided it was time to cool off and have a party. I
came home to find her asleep on the kitchen floor in front of the open
refrigerator, two empty beer cans next to her and potato salad covering
her face up to her ears.
The other day someone came in to discuss my new plumbing needs and Fancy was in the house in two piggy pouches under the family room table, and the guy talked too loud, woke her up, and she grunted like a dog and scared the guy half to death not knowing what it was. I love my pig, she is a joy and causes great fun!
~~~~~~~~I spent some time today watching Punch and Judy....she is doing it
also but not like the roto man! I think he is going after worms and
tender roots. He is aggressive if he is out rooting…I think its
territorial...don't touch my worms! If I remember correctly worms are
best found in the early morning hours when the soil is moist...thusly
he is back in bed by noon!
We are going to fence part of the yard off with a real fence and
try and restore the balance of the yard after winter. Our guess is he
may slow down once the winter is over and the bugs are gone because it's
too dry! Here is a before picture of the yard and the after
pigture...this happened in one day!
Top 10 reasons you know you live with a pig:
10-Does your pig do the tuchie twist before doing number one? You know the hynie hussle.
9-Does he hear a green leaf fall off the tree from across the yard and has it snorkled up before it hits the ground?
8-Does he swing his head faster than Mohamed Ali’s upper cut?
7-Is his super sonic radar so intense that even if you tiptoe into the kitchen to grab a snack, and he is outside in the back forty, he manages to beat you to the refrigerator?
6-Mr. T’s mohawk is nothing compared to a pig's response to a belly rub.
5-You no longer pretend to not be home for your green thumbed neighbor and his baskets of zucchini.
4-His 360 degree spin is faster than Brian Botanios triple axel.
3-Your backyard looks like you are always ready to “sow seeds”.
2-Your glass patio door looks like you used that shoe polish stuff so that no one could see in, for about 2 feet off the floor.
1-You can’t pass up a garage sale when you see “blankees” laying across the bushes for sale. (No good for nuthing pig would be caught with less than 5 blankees per bed.)
After years of confinement in a shed Piggy Sue has taken over my garage. She will "share" the yard but not the garage. My Rottweiller will NOT go into the garage for "anything" - you simply can not coax him into the garage. My other dog snoops occasionally, but she gets run out. For the last 8 or 9 months my son has had my second car, which was kept in the garage, so basically the garage has been free of vehicles. The past few weeks I had started parking my work car in the garage. One day I notice the tire look like I had rubbed up against something and cut it. The next day I was going to have it looked at. That night when I went out to feed Miss Piggy she was "biting" my tire. I guess she figured she could run it out too. Well, it worked. No more cars in the garage. (I hope she doesn’t go after the lawn mower.)
~~~~~~~~ Ode to Dr. Suess
I awoke with a start and what did I see
But a pig I believe or perhaps I saw three
Now a pig is one thing but if I saw two
It would not be a pig but would be pigamoose
A pigamoose is two but I thought I saw three
So pigamoose it’s not but must be pigameese
Now lo and behold I just counted four
So pigameese begone, I must have pigadors.
from Riff, Chuckles, George, and Standlee
~~~~~~~~August of 2003 my husband pulled our Dune Buggy up the driveway to wash it but left it out of gear (you know what happens next, right?). It was blazing hot that day, so he went looking for one of our pigs, Matilda, to give her a bowl of water since she doesn't get around to well. Then as he was walking back to the dune buggy he heard the sound of tires rolling over gravel and looked up in time to see our un-manned Dune Buggy crash into his Capri! And standing in the driveway, with a bewildered look on his face is, another of our pigs, Wolfgang, just wondering why his scratching post ran away! It was such a hilarious cartoon-in-real-life scenario that my husband couldn't even be mad! He called me at work to inform me that "my" pig had just wrecked two of "his" cars! No one was hurt except the cars, and we learned that you never give your car keys to a pig!
~~~~~~~~I stopped at ACE Hardware when I went to town today to get some chain for you-know-whos fencing. I told the guy my pig escaped and he asked me a bunch of questions about him. Then he told me a story about his friend's pig who seems to be awfully darn smart (but not as smart as my pigs). His friend had to keep his back door locked all the time, especially when he wasn't home. His pig would let himself in and go into the bathroom, climb into the bathtub and turn on the cold water and, get this, then he would sit on the drain and fill the bathtub up until it was overflowing. He would flood the bathroom and house. Can you imagine coming home to a flooded house and your pig sitting in the tub and probably pig giggling? Go figure.
"The paradise of my fancy is one where pigs have wings." G. K. Chesterton